Tuesday, July 26, 2005

You've been betrayed, livestock guardian.

I most certainly did not go to the vet. It was an I-R-I-S-H Festival. Should I say it again...maybe more slowly so your Estrela brain gets it this time? Irish. Not Portuguese.

Oh, and have you forgotten that I am a sighthound? I did not miss the fine print (like I would actually listen to you) on your blog entry. You are a kiss-up, Bart. Now you are trying to blame the poor innocent children for your mischieviousness. Rumor has it some new chewing on a chair leg was discovered today. Hmmmmm, I wonder who could have done that????

By the way, I have gotten out of going to the vet tonight. Yippeeee! It seems one of "your" ducks is ill. Guess you weren't doing your job very well.

Oh, and for the record, I get to go to Petsmart too sometimes.

Brogan the Fierce

Festival, Schmestival!

Well, Brogan the "fierce," I don't know where you and the other dumb "wolf"hound went on Saturday, but it sure wasn't anyplace where you would get attention from anyone. You couldn't have been "cleaning faces" or getting "hugs" or "being the center of attention." Because I know that my agent and my favorite human would never take you two, rather than me, to something like that. I am the one that always gets to go to Petsmart, remember? I am the one who goes to dog shows. Me, not you!

And, wherever you really were on Saturday, you missed out bigtime. You see, while you were probably getting poked and prodded by the vet or something, I was partying. The kibble was flowing and the stereo was pumping out tracks from my new mix cd... "Who Let the Dogs Out?", "Hound Dog," "I'm Gonna Buy Me a Dog," "By-Tor and the Snow Dog," "Puppy Love," "Givin the Dog a Bone," "Bad to the Bone," and "Muskrat Love." I took advantage of some golden chewing opportunities, then I popped in the DVD of "Best in Show" and Daisy and I watched it. On the couch. We could stretch waaaaay out on the nice soft fabric.

That's what you missed, big guy.

Note to my agent and my favorite human (Brogan stop reading now): the above is fiction, I did not lay on the couch, play the stereo, destroy any "good towels," or pee on the floor. And if you find dog food between the couch cushions, it was not me! Maybe the children have been sneaking it.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Who is the king now?

Well, how does it feel to be left home there, Bart? Ha ha ha. You didn't get to go to the Cleveland Irish Festival and get loved and adored by hundreds of people. Not only did I get to go, but Sabrina got to go. But not you, Bart. And why not? Because you are NOT Irish and you are not a Wolfhound. You had to sit home and baby-sit the other dogs.

Maybe if you grew a few inches, joined Weight Watchers and rolled in glue to make your hair coarse like a wolfhound you might pass as one of us. Sorry there Bart. You missed out on cleaning children's faces. You missed scruffles and hugs and being the center of attention. You didn't get to have the humans all to yourself. Better luck next year.

Brogan the Fierce

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Maybe I am getting through to them

As you know, as an Estrela Mountain Dog, king of all breeds, I am naturally the leader of any pack I am in. Rather than the brute-force approach taken by most other breeds, I prefer a more nurturing, educating leadership style. Other dogs cannot be Estrelas, but they can learn from us and try to take on some of our better qualities, even though for the most part they cannot actually succeed.

Now, anyone seeing the motley crew of individuals I have to work with might be immediately inclined to throw in the towel when it comes to education, and resort to the usual snarling and baring of teeth. Besides the two big dumb wolfhounds there is an Australian Shepherd that must be almost 91 in dog years (he once told me, "I was an Aussie when Aussies weren't cool"), and a smallish mutt that, thanks to the wolfhounds, seems to be getting more neurotic every day. But, I am not just anyone, I am Champion Bart the Estrela Prince, and thus I take it as a personal challenge upon myself to do what I can without resorting to violence.

So last night I was heartened by something that occurred. My favorite human had spent many hours yesterday in the kitchen preparing food. She had worked with the boy child on some excellent-smelling dessert with blueberries picked from the bushes in the back yard that so tantalizingly call me to them at this time of year. Most of the afternoon, I and the big dumb wolfhounds were locked in the dog yard, so I didn't have any opportunity to sample it. Old Man was locked in the big crate with the fan blowing on him, but the little mutt (who I am told used to be a lot of fun) was loose in the kitchen.

And wouldn't you know it, she remembered some of my lessons! She remembered how all the food in the house is actually ours, even when they don't directly give it to us. She remembered that humans sometimes leave food in challenging locations, which is a practice meant to encourage us to use our minds (some of us having more in that department than others) as well as our bodies. And she managed to sample some of the blueberry cake! Way to go, little mutt!

Now, she didn't get it exactly right. It seems she was still a little skeptical that the cake was for us, and thus she only took a minute sample that almost went unnoticed (that was at least clever, if misguided), and did it while the humans were busy outside. But still, progress is progress, and I am pleased.

But I still have to work out how to get myself some of that dessert. I know there is some left, but while we got some scraps from dinner, there was not a blueberry in sight.

Just keep me away from the baklava.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Wishing for Rain

Yesterday my agent was rather busy in the kicthen. He was moving crates and chairs out onto the deck. Then he mopped the kitchen floor. Now it smells funny. I don't like it. It's way too clean. I like to simulate the outdoors indoor in my kitchen. You know, drag mud, sticks and stones in and then "mark" everything with my scent. Now, nothing smells right!!!!

I'm hoping for some rain so that I can return my kitchen to that "earthy" smell. The rain will make the yard nice and muddy so I can do a proper job. I think I will research how to do a rain dance. I may not be a Native American, but I am smart so how hard can it be????

Friday, July 15, 2005

Ducks Gone Wild

I don't know what goes on in those peanut-sized brains of the waterfowl. As I have previously reported, I am stuck in the house while they are left to their own devices. Last night "some creature" was spotted outside their pen. The humans went to deal with it armed only with a spotlight. WHAT were they thinking??? What were they going to do to protect themselves? Blind the creature? Throw the spotlight at it? All they needed to do was take me with them. But NOOOOOO. Instead I was forced to stand at the kitchen sink and watch out the window at the spectacle. Luckily, I am good at math and had quickly calculated just the right velocity and force I would need to jump through the window if the need would arise (it didn't, but I was prepared anyway). Fortunately for the humans the creature out there took off (probably because it knew I was glaring through the window).

But back to my original thought, which was that the ducks are truly not beings of superior intelligence (like Estrela Mountain Dogs). The ducks were just being stupid today. They were wandering into the road. Now, even the wolfhounds know that we don't stand in the road. That's just not safe with the crazy drivers here that mistake 45 miles and hour for 65 miles on hour.

The humans had to go herd the ducks in. Now, I am NOT a herding dog and maybe if the Australian Shepherd that lives here was not a hundred years old and sick with that tumor, he could help with this little problem. Which reminds me......I heard a wicked rumor that a certain wolfhound that shall remain nameless could end up losing his family jewels mighty quick if he doesn't stop bothering the Aussie. I digress.

I am going to keep using my Estrela powers of mind manipulation on the humans. They need those ducks to be safe!!! I need to be with my ducks!

Thursday, July 14, 2005


As we all know, or as we should all know, Estrela Mountain Dogs are besides being the king of all breeds, livestock guardians. Well, my whole purpose in life is to guard my favorite human's ducks. She has nine ducks, I can't remember their names so we'll just call them the ducks. Two of them are a rare breed, like me! So, here I am stuck in this stinking house (and when I say stinking, I mean stinking - who would think that peeing inside would make it smell?) and I can't even watch my (I mean her, no.....I mean my as everything in the realm really belongs to me) well, I can't even watch my ducks. They are unprotected out there! What is far, far worse is that my agent has been toying with the very lives of my waterfowl friends. For some reason, he cannot remember to latch their predator-proof pen at night. Now, this would not even be an issue if I was out there. There would be no danger to my ducks.

What is an Estrela Mountain Dog to do??????

Monday, July 11, 2005

Went for a walk last night...

Last night I took my humans for a walk on the peninsula. Well, ok, technically my agent drove us there, but I had in the first place used my Estrela powers of persuasion on them to convince them to go. I was at first happy to see that they had not put the pen in the van, but they worked out some other method of restraining me from riding in my rightful place (on a lap in one of the front seats, preferably the driver's side) which I will not go into due to the utter humiliation of it.

It was a good walk. I think we walked about 2 miles. I was not getting tired by the end of it, but it was just a little too warm for a dog whose ancestors came from the mountains. The little boy rode his bike humorously ahead of us. I valiantly protected my humans from the noisy, fast-moving creatures in the bay. I also thoughtfully took the time to check the faces of all the small children who we passed along the way -- we all know the dangers of leaving residual food molecules on the faces of children, and I make it a point to do my part to keep children safe.

On the ride home we stopped for treats, but I did not get any for myself. I tried very hard to convince them to give me some of their shakes and orange sherbet cones, but it was to no avail. They do make ice cream especially for dogs, you know!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

No way is he smarter than me!

That dumb wolfhound Brogan... he seems to want to get revenge on me after he got in trouble for peeing. He "thinks" that I framed him, as if it takes any effort at all to outsmart him and make him look bad!

So last night, he and the other wolfhound were outside for a while and when my agent let them in, I heard all sorts of yelling. Turns out that my hole by the steps was waaaaaay enlarged. Apparently he thought the humans would think it was me... nevermind that I was LOCKED IN THE PEN the whole time!! hahahaha!

Brogan on his best day will never as smart as I am on my worst day (that's from Judge Judy)!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I'm OK!

I guess baklava is not poisonous, just too rich for the stomach of a dog whose ancestors were raised on sheep heads and other scraps. I'm still here! Yay for me!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Could baklava be poisonous?

I really liked that baklava, but it apparently didn't like me. I threw it up on the kitchen floor. Could it be poisonous to dogs? Or did the toads get hold of it and put some lethal substance in it, intending to use it as bait so they can get me out of the way and harm my family???

Now I know how my sister Pinta felt that time she ate a mole.

Please send someone to check on me if I don't post in the morning.

Sometimes my humans are so thoughtful...

Tonight my humans were gone for some time, and when I came inside after doing my business, and they were getting the children to bed, I found the Greek cookies they left on the stove for me.

Sure, they were in a closed container. But why else would they have been left tantalizingly in reach, unless they were for me to enjoy?

Mmmm... baklava.

The Lost Post

I noticed Bart had a post about our trip to Millie's that was saved as a draft but not published. I published it for him. Since he started it on 6/28 it's down a little bit on the page! Or you can just click here.

Friday, July 01, 2005

The culprit has been identified.

That Bart has been framing me for weeks, getting me in trouble for peeing on the kichen floor, while it was not me, but him doing it all along.

Well, last night he got caught. Caught in the act, making a big puddle under the highchair. His agent did not like that one bit. I felt vindicated. That little *** is going to get shown for what he is.

And I signed up for his blog, too. So there, "champion" Bart!