Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Toad invasion brewing

Something bad is happening....

Over the weekend we had a hatching in the pond. There are now thousands of polliwogs (or tadpoles, if you prefer) swimming around in there... or perhaps actually lying in wait. I must now prepare for a possible toad invasion. I don't know how to tell at this stage whether these beasts will indeed be dastardly, dangerous toads, or merely harmless frogs. It is safe to say that they will waste no time in staging their brutal invasion, doing so as soon as their legs have developed and while they are still at their most potent tiny size.

I have written before in my "Ask Bart" column about the treachery of the toad. A single toad is bad enough... but thousands! I cannot even estimate the possible danger to my family. This is truly a job for the Estrela Mountain Dog. I can't trust the bumbling Irish wolfhounds in my house to help me out. I'm not sure if they would run away, or step on the toad-beasts accidentally (which would be somewhat helpful, but ineffective due to the large numbers involved). The little mutt Daisy has proven her mettle with rodents, but I don't know if she is up to the toad challenge. I would love to have the fair Gisela, or my sister Pinta, or perhaps fellow Champion Choupo, here to help me at this important time, but alas, they are all too far away to make it in time. I shall have to deal with this myself.

The more optimistic among us would probably hope that these are indeed frog tadpoles and not evil toad tadpoles... but I can't take the chance. I will be formulating my plans and monitoring the situation over the coming days.


Anonymous said...


Did you know that polliwogs become carnivorous at the leg stage? BEWARE!

Tad & Polly

Champion Bart the Estrela Prince said...

Thank you for your advice. And just a little friendly advice for you... those insects you see flying around? The ones you like to eat? You never know where they've been...

Anonymous said...

Hmmph! Our spies say you eat poop.

Tad & Polly

Champion Bart the Estrela Prince said...

For your information, poop is a delicacy.

What I am talking about is small incendiary devices. The kind the CIA and toads know about. And now me.