Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Ok, this is just unconscionable. How this could happen in a realm with two Estrelas, I don't know.

Batata reported to me that a book had mysteriously arrived in the house, so I checked it out. The name of the book is "Toad Heaven." Now, on first glance this sounds like a perfectly wonderful book -- a book about the evil toads meeting their maker. A glance at the blurb on the back provides tantalizing clues at what might lie inside... phrases like "Perhaps it was a fork wound" and "the human had tried to eat him." A quick look inside provides more wonderful imagery of a toad afraid of being squashed and otherwise harmed.

But a closer look reveals the truth. It is a pro-toad book! The picture on the cover shows three smiling toads with halos above their heads (the one on the right does look like a thug, so at least that part is accurately depicted). The hero of the book is a toad who is a "nice guy" and just wants to "find a safe place to live" where he can escape "persecution." If this isn't heresy, I don't know what is.

Here is a link to it on Amazon. Amazingly the same "person" (probably actually an amphibian) has written several other pro-toad books. I am thinking perhaps a good protest against Amazon for selling this kind of filth is in order. Also, when I looked there were only 3 left in stock. To me this says there is something big going on. Perhaps if Amazon provides data on who has been buying this book in large quantities, and decides to carry the Jorge Damas Estrela book, then I will rethink the whole boycott thing.

So now I must ask myself how this book made it into my realm. Do we have a spy in the house? A toad sympathizer? Or was it brought in by a 3rd party? If so, how could that happen without Batata or me knowing about it? It would have had to be while I was stuck in the garage... I know the humans sometimes take Batata out for "socialization" (that is what they call it... we call it "admiration") so the house is unprotected at those times (the big dumb wolfhounds are of no use for this sort of thing). Maybe someone stuck it in the backpack of one of the children while they were at school. That is more plausible, but it would be a bad situation, indeed, since it would mean the children are exposed to grave danger while out of my sight. Perhaps I need to work things out so that Batata or I can accompany them to school just to make sure they are safe. The toad spy could be that yellow lab. He does look shifty and he always barks at me (like it has any impact -- ha!). I still do not trust him. I have never seen him bark at a toad.

If Argus were here I would just have him eat this book to destroy it. Batata is good at chewing things right now so perhaps I can put her on it. I, personally, even though I have an iron stomach in general and could eat ANYTHING, including baklava and junebugs, refuse to stoop so low as to let this... this thing touch me any more than it already has (I feel like I need a good bath already, and hey, my favorite human has a coupon for bathing at PetSmart!). Ah, I have an idea! The big dumb wolfhound Brogan has been jumping the gate into the living room and peeing on the floor. I will convince him to pee on the book, and then the humans will throw it away. Problem solved! Well, this part of it, at least....

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